2022 Reflections
2022 Results:
Q1 Reflections:
I started the year off ready to fire.
I was playing online but I always wanted to play bigger live so I gave myself the opportunity to do so.
My OG plan going into 2021-22 was to crush microstakes to then play as big as possible live. I figured going to the Lodge during the Brad Owen/Neeme/ Polk grand reopening was a good trial run for this after achieving decent win rate online.
In preparation, I hired a live cash coach with experience playing similar structures. His thought process was simple and practical. Play vs fish with wide ranges after they’ve given us information. This meant playing more out of the flop check node. Concepts I didn’t fully grasp or appreciate early in 2022, but by mid-late 2022 would be a strength of my game.
I was overcomplicating my approach to the game. I opened myself up to the idea of using non-gto sizings vs fish all around the game tree. A simple yet, provocative idea to me at the time based on previous coaching experiences.
My play style began featuring more flop checks - with intention to arrive on turn with a robust raising strategy.
Previous probe sim experiments I did with coaches in 2021 started making a lot more sense. Probe spots started feeling like bread and butter.
During this time I leaned into my curiosity to guide sim work. Put in a decent chunk of time exploring non essential nodes of the tree. Studying donk lines reignited my curiosity for 6 max. The complexity of a donk option made the game more fun. These are nodes most coaches will tell you to stay away from because they are low impact areas. This is solid advice, but there is something to be said about making poker more interesting. I choose to play poker through a lens of curiosity. Studying obscure lines makes the game more fun and interesting. It helps keep my mind fresh and inspired to play more.
In preparation for my live shot take, I played 40 hours of midstakes public games in S Florida. It started off pretty well and I ended up +6k.
Some chip porn from the S FL sessions:
I felt good about my preparation and was ready to take my first “big” live shot at cash… From Jan 24-29th I played 50 hours at the Lodge in Austin and lost 17k. It was my biggest USD downswing to date.
In a strange way it was a cathartic experience. Usually when I lost big it was due to tilt or bad play. These performances always hurt more because they came with a striking sense of guilt and self-loathing. Common amateurs going “pro” mental leaks.
But this time was different. It was outwardly evident a result of variance. I will spare you the meme like hand histories, but it was the worst live variance I’ve seen up to this point (probably nothing in reality). It was the type of run where you feel a nervous “here we go again” when you get dealt premiums.
Even with the bad run I flew back home proudly and grateful. Grateful that I got to travel to play poker, grateful that I was in a position to lose thousands of dollars, and grateful to have a blast at the tables meeting a bunch of Texas characters. I genuinely had a great time at the table. I also felt pretty locked in for most of the trip - even through a death run, which was something to be proud of.
I returned to the online arena with a quench for more. Part of me wanted to feel what it was to run well and win again. Another part of me didn’t care and just wanted to keep on stimulating my mind with poker.
At the end of January, while complaining to my coach ab this run bad - my curiosity was struck by his redline.
I knew it was possible to win via a redline strategy but it felt unattainable. Winning in poker was cool enough, but winning with a positive red line was winning with style. I wanted to win with style.
With some fortuitous timing I stumbled upon Darius on discord. I had watched him steam at the end of 2021 and was always impressed by his approach to the game. But in 2022, what intrigued me the most about him was his gorging red line. It was one of the sexiest graphs I had ever seen. I wanted to learn how to make my graph look that way too.
His approach was precise, but casual. He didn’t sweat the small stuff, he thought about the game with the big picture in mind. Fish over bluff. People are risk averse and fold too much. We exploit that.
It seemed like he had the missing aggression link I was looking for - calibration. I recognized he had good information, so naturally I started listening. I soaked up as much as I could - while incorporating the lessons of my previous solver work and coaching.
I reconstructed my strategy with a bluff first mentality.
For a long time, my aggression in poker was uncalibrated. It led me to spew too much in bad spots. Darius’ methodology honed in on calibrating this aggression. Over time my intuition progressed and I was punting less than than my previous samples. My edge started feeling more tangible. Results started pouring in.
There’s still more spew than optimal in my game, but I suppose this is the style of poker that is most fun and scary to play with. Putting people to the test. Putting yourself to the test. Confronting your fears and emotions. This is what it’s all about to me. This is what excites me about this beautiful game.
I ended Q1 with my biggest online poker upswing to date. Most of the volume came from 200nl. A stake I would’ve wished to be crushing 6 months prior. I even shot took some 500nl with success. The ball was starting to roll…
Q2 Reflections:
Q2 was about getting back in the grove online. I was tired of the live scene and wanted to grind online. I felt comfortable playing 200nl but I wanted to reap more rewards.
But it wasn’t that easy... The first 20k hands were tough. I was running bad. Doubt started creeping in, obsessive hand history reviews helped me maintain composure and continue showing up.
I kept on chucking along and eventually things started changing. With a little momentum I began shot taking 500nl more often. Caught a sun run during the shot takes and ended up making 2x the profits at 500nl with half the volume as 200nl. Running well while shot taking. Beautiful sight.
Back to back big winning quarters. Momentum really starting to brew.
Q3 Reflections:
Q3 was a light volume quarter online. I bounced around the live scene a bit more. I had IRL responsibilities to tackle. I took some time to travel. I made further upgrades to the airbnb and re-dabbled with some DeFi NFT lending games.
I was more confident in my poker game but wanted to take some time off. I felt burn out approaching. I played online much less, but tried to play bigger when I did play. I tested the 1knl waters for the first time ever. Some picture vomit to capture the times:
Q4 Reflection:
Q4 I got settled into my new place in Philly. I was refreshed and ready to grind. My intention was to play as big as possible. Darius was coming back with a new coaching program. It was perfect timing.
Unfortunately, I was unable to put in as much high stakes volume as I wanted, but still put in more hs volume than any other time. I fell into mental leaks that I had never experienced before. I felt myself experiencing emotions I never had to deal with.
For the first time, I wanted to lock up wins. I quit sessions early in fear of losing it back. I would shot take, it would go well, and I’d find myself taking a few days off of poker.
The stakes were getting to me. I felt imposter syndrome. I didn’t want to play more because I recognized I’d need to deal with negative variance too if I played more. Just as easily as I could win 10k in a session, I could also lose it.
It was easier to lock up a nice win and carry on with my 200-500nl grind. These were things I didn’t realize at the time, but it was what I was doing. My goal was to put volume in at 2knl. Not sun run it and run away from it.
My curiosity for HU poker and tournaments grew in Q4. I self studied HU via sim work and Rabichow’s Gameplan course. Jumped in the mix and reg battled a bit on stars with some success. It reinvigorated a curiosity about the game that I hadn’t felt in a while. Every spot felt virgin and filled with nuance. I spent countless hours in sim rabbit holes.
I played a couple tournament Sundays. Mostly bricked, but binked a small field $215. I hope to continue exploring these formats in 2023, but I’d like to narrow in on HU study first. Being comfortable open sitting any stake on Stars is where I want to get to in 2023.
Q4 of 22’ I booked my winningest quarter of online poker. But more importantly, it exposed a lot of mental leaks to confront going into 2023.
The most significant part of Q4 was firing my first live series at the WPT. I fired 5 bullets in the WPT prime 1k and 3 bullets in the 10k main - by far, the biggest shot I’ve taken. I bricked and bricked and bricked. Started of 0/7 in cashes stuck 25k in total with one 10k bullet left.
I sold some action to DGAF’s patreons (~30%), which helped offset some of the burn but I was stuck more than I’m used to in my online games. The field was soft and the stakes were higher than anything I’d be able to play for months so I hunkered down, rested well and kept on returning to battle.
I busted my last bullet in the middle of day 3 for ~20k. Nice little rebate on the trip, but still stuck around 10k on the trip.
It was a surreal experience I’ll forever be grateful for. It was my first time in Vegas. The size and glamour of the city was overwhelming. The conversations I’d overhear walking around or eating dinner were alien to me. Culture shock all around.
On the flip side, it was surreal to walk the halls and see faces I’ve idolized as a kid. It felt like every break I’d stumble upon Negreanu, Helmuth, Landon Tice, Joe Ingram, Doyle Brunsun, Jungleman, etc. The clash of new school and old school legends right in front of me felt like a kid in an NBA locker room.
2023 priorities
Maintaining balance.
In 2021-22 I was obsessed with proving that I could win at poker.
I spent every hour of every day obsessing over hand histories and thinking about poker. It was escapism.
I fell into a trap of play more poker = win more = feel better.
I had a taste of winning and I wanted more. I put my head down and kept on trying to win more. Week after week refreshing the graph and marveling in it’s beauty.
I had a relentless desire to figure out how to win at poker. I loved the process. I loved the mental challenge. It gave me something to put my mind and soul into. But in doing so I lost sight of bigger priorities.
This mindset caused me to isolate myself from family and friends. My social life evaporated. I neglected relationships that were important to me because my only priority was poker.
Going into 2023 I don’t feel the same necessity to prove myself. I know I can win and that my methodology is sound. I have a network of sharp minds around me to diagnose any issues that might come my way.
So going into 2023 my goal is to play less volume at higher stakes. I want to let my curiosity continue to guide my poker journey. Right now, that’s studying HU to the point that I can open sit any stake on US regulated sites. I want to make time for friends. I want to make time for family. And I want to make time for myself.
In broad strokes, my resolutions are:
Cultivate better relationships
Invest in myself via more private poker coaching
Prioritize wellness
Push comfort zones